Key Skills
This is about the key skills needed to succeed as a bullshitter and is the final article in our four part series tracing the King of Bullshit from a poorly qualified school leaver to the head of IT.
Before you read it see the first 3 episodes first.
See Part 1 – A Career Built Purely on Bullshit
See Part 2 – A Career Built Purely on Bullshit 2. Take Credit for Others’ Work
See Part 3 – A Career Built Purely on Bullshit 3 – Getting to Senior Level
Key Skills Needed
The main key skills that the King of Bullshit needs to get to the top, besides the obvious one, are:
1) The ability to get good people around him
2) Getting them to do all the work and come up with the ideas
3) Passing those ideas off to senior management as his own
4) Taking credit for the good work of others
5) Passing the blame for bad work on to others
6) Knowing the right time to move on or get off a project
7) Developing a good relationship with the users
8) The ability to stick the knife in at just the right time to colleagues and superiors
Three Year Cycle
Even when he gets the number one job in IT at the company, there is also something else that he needs to remember, i.e. that there is a three year life cycle for IT Directors, Managers and CIOs.
1) The Guru Year
During the first year the new IT Director is looked upon as a bit of a guru. He comes with fresh ideas and the Managing Director introduces him enthusiastically to other senior managers, senior customers and the Board of Directors.
During this phase the IT Director can do anything he likes. He is practically invulnerable
2) The ‘Wonder’ Year
During the second year, the Managing Director starts to wonder if the IT Director is quite as good as he thought he was and doesn’t involve him as much
3) The Bypass Year
During the third year, the Managing Director bypasses the IT Director constantly and leaves him regularly out of the decision making process.
At the end of the third year, the IT Director is fired and the process starts all over again.
Quick on His Feet
The most important lesson that the King of Bullshit needs to learn is that he should never be around by the start of the third year in the cycle.
If he takes to heart all of these lessons, the King of Bullshit should have a long, successful and lucrative career.
Perhaps you may even have even come across this person at a place where you’ve worked.
I know several IT directors @ well known companies who applied these methods to succeed but they never stay anywhere long once it becomes apparent they have built their career on being less than honest sooner or later they have to go taking their buddies with them as they are all from the same university of dishonest!
I “love” statements –
“I have so many projects, I can’t follow up every detail – if you have seen my agenda you would understand”.
“I am not technical, I am afraid I am loosing you with all these technicalities”..
So it’s everybody else’s problem that he has no time, and it’s certainly your problem he’s loosing you – what a great statement ! How about adding extra involvement and improving competence so the pure manager doesn’t get lost.
I call them excel sheet managers.